May 27, 2019. West Tisbury. “Is this the home of Tony Horwitz?” Yes “Who am I speaking to?” This is his wife. That is exact. The rest is a blur. “Collapsed in the street…tried to resuscitate at the scene…brought to the hospital..couldn’t revive him….”
That’s the opening to Geraldine Brooks’ memoir Memorial Days. It takes her three years to realize that she hasn’t really taken the time to work through the grief of suddenly losing her husband. And so, she flies to a remote island off the coast of Tasmania to remember and grieve. The chapters of the book alternate between the days following Tony’s death and her time of remembering while on the island.
I had a similar experience. My husband Mark died very suddenly and alone. I, too, learned about it over a phone call. You’re in a fog for at least a year, and the pain never truly goes away, it just softens.
When Mark died, I spent time writing in a journal about the days following to keep the memories from looping through my head, and a widow friend encouraged me to keep a journal of memories of him. In a much more literary way, that is what Brooks has done.
Both she and her husband were journalists overseas before becoming authors of award-winning books, so their life together was very full. Towards the end of the book, she gently offers advice to those who are still blessed to have a spouse. Share your passwords and how you pay bills. Make sure both your names are on your assets. An average of 2,800 women become widows every day in the United States.
If you’re interested in one widow’s journey, beautifully written, then you must read Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks.
